Hey brother.
(If you are reading this)

I know u put a tracker on my com.
& i know, soon u will find out about this blog.
Just read this first before u scold me kay?

Look, i just wanted a place to vent my unhappiness.
This blog is purely meant for that.
I will not come and blog for no other reasons.
I know, studies is so important.
I'm also trying to pull my grades up so i can go camp.
But now i just feel like my life is so screwed up.
And i have no where to vent it.

I'm so sick and tired of putting on the happy face,
when inside i'm not even close to okay.
My life is in a mess,
My christian life is in a mess.
I dunno what to do anymore.

There's no one i can talk to.
There's no place i can let it all out.
So i need this space.
I hope u understand.

I'm sure u know the feeling of how sickening life is.
So, please, let me keep this alright?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Everything I see is making me sad.
I feel so worthless,
like an empty shell.

I need to feel God's presence,
yet that is one of the things i cannot feel.
I know u are there,
I know u see me suffering,
but why arent u doing anything?

I wanna catch up with u,
but u are running so far,
I can't even see u anymore.
Can u slow down?
Please slow down, just for me.

I am so afraid.
I'm afraid everyone around me will leave me.
I'm afraid I'll be left alone.
I'm afraid, so afraid.

I jump at the sound of thunder.
I shudder when i'm engulfed in darkness.
I'm so scared, I really dunno what to do.

My life is upside-down.
I wanna stop failing as a student.
I wanna stop failing as a friend.
I wanna stop failing as God's daughter.