For the very first time of my 15 years of life,

I'M GROUNDED.


But Y'know what? This really proves something.
Let me analyze it for you.

1. People get grounded cos they went overboard.
2. So my parents found me overboard this time.
3. It was one of the best day I ever had in my life.

So what does that say?
I'm beginning to have a life,
and my parents are killing it.

Okay, curious people will be wondering what happened.
Ytd I went swimming right?
We met at 5, and my mother wants me back by 9.
So technically, there was only 3 hours of play.
We finished swimming early, but the bathroom was crowded.
So dragged on, I reached home at 10.

Mother hit the roof, scolded.
Banned me from going out today.
What's the worse thing?

Today I was supposed to help out at OUTimates,
and go for my LAST hof.

So I created trouble for the whole TKK ministry.
Not to mention add burden to the people helping.
I made myself unable to attend HOF for the last time.
And probably killed the chance of going to the China event.

If only I hadn't go.
NONE of these will happen.

I was really looking forward to today.
Since last week. Especially for HOF.
What to do? I brought this unto myself.

Going back to topic,
My parent's life motto is probably to kill all my fun.
Actually no luh, they want me to be happy.
Happy as in, find a good job, good husband, BLAH.
So they want me to study now.

But has it ever occurred to u,
You are killing my teenage life.
Sucking all the fun out of it.

I used to be really emo.
Now that I have finally became happier,
You throw me back into the pits.

WHAT IS SO FREAKING GOOD ABOUT BEING CLEVER?!

I rather be stupid and be allowed to go out, have fun.
Be in a neighbourhood school, and have TRUE friends.

You never notice how unhappy ur daughter is.
You never notice how many times I cried myself to sleep.
You never notice, NOT ONCE.

What do u notice?
MY BAD GRADES.
MY "DEFIANT" BEHAVIOUR

Not one single praise u ever gave me.
When, when I got back good grades, did u say "well done!"?
Nope, u say "Why didnt u do better?!"

When, when I got back bad grades, did u say "Work harder"?
Nope, u say "Get these kind of grades still dare to show me?!"

When, when I did all the chores, did u say "Good!"?
Nope, u dun say ANYTHING.

When, when I stay at home, did u say "Good girl"?
Nope, u say sarcastically, " Wa, miracle leh."

Wow.
You are one great mother.
I really really love you.

Thinking about it,
So many ppl in my sch slit themselves,
hurt themselves,
become gangster type,
run away from home.

I used to be puzzled, Why?
Now i know.

Y'know, when I was crying myself to sleep last night,
I really had the urge to get a penknife and draw a line on my wrist.
I really had the urge of banging my head against the wall,
till I get knocked out unconscious.
I really had the urge of running away from home.
For the first time.

I rmb all my friends hurting themselves,
telling me it's a great feeling.
Feel that all ur troubles are gone,
all the agony disappeared.
I felt really tempted.

Who knows?
Maybe if u keep up the good work,
u might find me on the floor with blood all over.
Wouldnt that just make u happy?

I dun wanna return to my mugging life.
I dun wanna become emo again.
I dun want that life anymore.

Maybe I should just start failing.
Get into 'o' lvl class, ITE,
then altogether stop studying.

Maybe, just maybe, then u will stop pressurizing me.