Saturday, February 25, 2012 , 2:31 AM

Realises I always say I'll post a day-by-day experience after each vacation and then.. nothing happens. Hmm this is bad. Okay I'll change, next time I won't say I'll post about my vacation. LOL.


Anyway I'm blogging again, (wow finally), because of a certain Koala I've met recently. (: Hi Koala! -waves- I bet even Sharlene doesn't read this anymore. So Koala you're the only person who knows about this. Hahaha. One and only leh, honoured not! ^^ People who know me will know I'm super easily amazed, especially when I find out someone thinks the same or does the same things as me. But omg this person is scary. Reading through his blog is like reading my life story. Okay except the relationship parts. Heh. So after reading his, I decided to go through mine. And I'm like..

I've changed so much and I didn't even realise it. One thing I was thinking while reading through, "Why the fugglewuggle was I Shakespeare last time and can't write for nuts now?!" Seriously, all the words and emo verses. LOL. I guess I became happier, so I put less thoughts into all these. This is bad, it proves when you have friends you neglect your studies. Hahaha. I was damn loser last time, lol. Go home watch dramas, chase after pop groups, find hot guys everywhere. But when I reach the serious and inner-self monologues, I see myself in it again. All those questions I asked, I haven't found the answers. And ofcourse when I see some other stuff, all the hurt comes back at me. The bleakest period of my life. So glad I'm out of that rut. I might have just committed suicide if that continued.


I have.. become damn childish. LOL. It's quite bad I swear. I behave like a 14-year-old now. I'm so kid-like that Eugene says he feels like I'm his younger sister and feels the need to protect me. Wthhh. But I like it. I mean, that's meeee. I like to just do fun things without worrying it's childish or not. People should release that inner child in them. They will realise they have much more fun that way. (:


My family is getting quite distant. Ever since the new addition of my sis-in-law, we haven't had a proper family meal. Now my brother is also attached again, guess I'll be left alone, again. I swear I will cry when my second brother gets married. ): I miss my old family, to be honest. Sigh. Now, my mum comes home, use computer, watch tv. My dad comes home, go kitchen. My brothers and sis-in-law comes home, go into their room to use their PS3, ipad, galaxy tab, computer, tv. Nobody talks to me anymore. ):


Grandma left. Was talking to Koala just now and he said he wants his grandma to attend his wedding. I teared at that sentence. I want mine to do that too. I wasn't even asking for that much, all I asked was for her to be there on my birthday. Just a birthday, yet she was a day late. I miss her so much. She said she wanted to wait for me to get a boyfriend. But she couldn't. My grandma was the strongest person in the whole wide world, and I'm so proud of her for fighting so bravely even when the odds were against her. I love you, Grandma. <3


Just now Joycelyn told me that I have to stop putting others before me. Kinda struck a nerve. The truth is, I don't know how to do that, and even if I do, I will not dare to do it,  for fear that people will leave me again. I have enough people leaving me, I don't want another one. 


Another thing I realised was, my photography skill was so much better back then! Haha. Was quite mesmerised by the pictures I took. Now my pictures all damn cui. ): I wanna brush up on my skills, but seriously have no time for leisure time. Last year say get a job and save up enough money to buy camera lens, in the end spent all my money on Christmas gifts. Omg.


Okay I have been sleeping relatively earlier these few days so now my brain shut down already. I'll try to blog often! Quite excited to blog again. :D Okay can! ^^